Just finish my show. Am so touched by all the people who turned up for the past 4 days. Really really happy at whats been done and i'm sure this play will remain in my memory forever. Or at least it will on my resume. But the support i got from my friends who turned, some who even paid full price -- you guys know who you are -- from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

It means a lot for a performer to be able to perform for a crowd and whether you came on complimentary tics, or you came and paid the full price, for you support for the Arts, for your support of my horrendous acting, for your support of a play which you came to watch and left understanding little of, i applaud you.

Whats next?

The channel 8 acting idol thingy. Doesn't seem to have publicity about it. But at least this is a competition i think i can do reasonably well in. Don't think i have the looks to win it -- for after all, as evident in all the previous competitions on tv, you either have to be good looking of handicapped to win something -- but i will do my best. Hopefully at least make it to the quaters or something.

The competition will be a theme acting thingy with everyone stranded on an island. Sounds fun. I'm worried though if i do well in this com, it means i will have to defer my already atrocious studies. SIgh...i dunno la. Studies been very very bad. Most of it my fault i suppose. I put too much emphasis on work, and this play really came at the wrong time. But thats life. Have to make do with it i suppose.

I cried the other day in school. It was for this subject called advertising. The teacher is this hard ass straight talking face whipping permanent PMS bitch called jenny lo. My group actually had 4 people. One quit school, and the other, Thanna -- the current New Paper New Face finalist -- is now disappearing all together from school. So its left to this girl Cherlyene and I. Well, at first we decided, hell no matter what, we are going to finish this project. So we worked on the stuff as a two some for many weeks.

From Day 1, when there were still a lot of slacking around, I alone did most of the group work. The SWOT, the sourcing out of the competitiors weaknesses and our SMINT strengths, i found it, compliled it, and i did it. Then Cherlyene came in to help and i was mega glad that at least i had support at last. We struggled through most of the components, and we did badly. But we handed work in at least. But the strain was really evident.

Then i got into a traffic accident the day we were suppose to hand in a very important component of the work. Cherlyene was furious, she complained to everyone and wrote emails to Jenny saying I have been an ass. I tried to make peace with her and even tried to make it up by doing the schedules all by myself. But the damage was already done. Jenny thinks im a fucker who skips class, did nothing to contribute to the project, dragged Cherylene down into the shit, and basically is a no good do-er who is better of banging the wall.

Cherlyene told her she is going to joing another group, cause she don't want her grades to be dragged down. I said fine. Its her decision, she can do what she wants. I will continue with the rest of the work by myself.

Then i cried like mad.

School is really madness now. Guess a lot have to do with my poor PR skills and the time constraints i'm having which makes it difficult for me to do group projects or go to class even. Everyone thinks im a irresponsible bastard who is just interested in making life difficult for everyone.

Well, those who have been reading my blog will know, i have always liked doing things alone. I have always been a loner.

And it seems even in school, when surrounded by tons of people, i will still be a loner.

Make friends?

It would be more easy to turn stone into gold.

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[richel] [8/29/2005 01:51:00 AM]