I got into the second round today.

But I'm not going for the it.

Its on next sat. Which means she will be there. And so will him. Plus I will be at cineleisure hosting. So i'm gonna give the second round a miss. Took part cause of her anyway actually. Not really very interested in whether i got through or not now.

But looking at David tao today really made me sit back and wonder about all the wonderful things i could do with music as power. The ability to move people and to transmit my ideas and opinions through music to the masses. David was amazing live. Even better than on cd. His concert at the end of the year will be definately one that i would be going. Ai wo hai shi ta. How prophetic. Imagine 5000 people screaming your name. Thats enough to make anyone hig beyong drugs man.

As predicted, my cisco staff are slowly doing the disappearing act on me. From 15 now I'm just down to 3 staff members. I didnt make a hooha at the various excuses they gave me and i arranged things fine. Some of the days next week i may have to take over but hell, when the going gets tough, I get tougher. This roadshow will end on great note. I promise you that.

Tomorrow is another tough day. I'm going to have just about 5 hours of sleep. But heck, sleep is just a waste of time to me.

Life is too, anyway.

---

[ ]


[richel] [4/30/2005 11:23:00 AM]

shagged out. absolutely.

had no idea wakeboarding is SO ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!! yeah its expensive and hell, I'm so shagged out at the end of the day i can barely think straight. But woohoO!!!! HAHA!! ITS FUN!! Man to get pulled by a v8 engine powerboat with feets in boards and surfing over the water (damm salty punggol river) feels out of this world!! I would really love to try it again sometime soon. Went with charmaine and her cousins in the afternoon and only finished at around 630. Went home with my body itching like mad and quickly bathed. but was it worth it?

U Bet.

*surfing over waves riding the water like your an underwater cowboy. Or sitting in the speed boat feeling the wind in your hair, smiling like your on top of the world, and visioning yourself at the one of those romantic getaways. Believing that one day you could be doing this every single day.*

Next week I'm doing the carolina huerera roadshow at cineleisure on sat and sun. Its a two weekend roadshow to promote the 'chic' fragrance. This roadshow is gonna be big cause its organised by Luxasia which is one of the biggest fragrance importer for major brands in the region. If they like what i do, then hey, possibilities are endless. Tomorrow is the audition for the channel U superstar. Channel 5 called and told me i had been cast for another drama. I'm going for another audition for the singapore idol drama next week. This Cisco roadshow is still ongoing. Phew...seems like i got a lota stuff going on. Should be pretty busy i guess, or so i hope.

I just want to get my mind off her already. Its tiring and its detrimental to my emotional progress. I guess maybe i didnt really know her all that well before to assume so many things about her. Her behaviour after our break up has been very shocking and traumatising for me. I have always thought of her as an angel, pure, innocent, and beautiful. But now its seems that she has been tainted by life and seems to be heading towards the path of apparent misadventure. Like she said, i have no right to her life anymore and i continued to push myself to believe that i can and will make a difference.

I should stop disillusioning myself. And slowly but surely i wake up everyday feeling the hurt slowly diminishing. Humans are in bred with the mechanism to adapt to things and though mine is kicking in slowly, at least its kicking in. The lonely nights are still hard to bear and everytime i look at my hp and scroll through her messages i just feel like jumping off a building. But slowly and painfully i'm deleting those messages. Slowly and painfully im burying those hearts she gave me. Slowly and painfully I'm learning to look in the mirror and detest the fat slob that i have become.

I will get tan and fit again. I will work hard again. I will learn to carry on life again. I will learn to look her in the eyes again one day and not feel my heart crushing.

I will.

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[ ]


[richel] [4/29/2005 05:10:00 AM]

Tiramisu is on channel U now. Watching it and smiling bitterly.

This show was one of my fav chinese shows of all. And i rarely -- MUCH EMPHASIS ON RARELY -- praise any chinese movie. Especially one that stars the horrible actor nicholas tse.

Karena lam however, is one of the movies redeeming factors. For those who have no idea who Karena lam is, please find the nearest wall and proceed to bang your head against it till you lose consciousness and die. Her fraile beauty and innocense helps buffer nic's inadequecies at acting. Her smile reminds me of.... well, of someone. Would never fail to brighten up my day or make me smile. She is classically trained in ballet and has starred opposite jacky cheug in "Man At 40" as well as Leslie Cheung in the last movie before he/she died "Inner Senses".

Why other things makes this movie work?

Its a simple story about Jane (karena) and Ah (forgotten and do not care to remember what his character's real name is) who happens to meet each other quite frequently on the mrt (four times everyday in fact) but never talk. After another chance meeting, Jane walks out of the mrt station and got knocked down by a car.

Somehow, Ah is able to see her ghost after that because at the exact moment when she was knocked down, the both of them were thinking of each other. As she has unfulfilled wishes before she died, she decided to stay on to fulfil before she moves on. Wandering ghost la. So she spends her time doing nothing but following around Ah everywhere as he tries to help her fulfil her last wishes. Already attracted to each other when alive, their bond grew into love in death.

The hardest relationship to maintain is not one where your partner is a flirt or a drunk or a drug addict. Its when your partner is dead.

He helps her comfort her distraught best friend and dancing partner and even allow her -- Jane not the dancing partner -- to posses him so that they could participate in the dancing finals together as was planned before her death. He helps her comfort her family and ease their pain at her own funeral (in his body of course). And he helps bring happiness into wats left of her time on earth by bringing her to amusement centres to nostalgic clubs, etc, while escaping from the underworld cops who catches way ward spirits. Just 7 days together, yet they manage to cultivate a love which can stand even the perils of death. When she couldnt bear using his body any more -- spirit possesion is suppose to sap at your life strength -- she tried to leave. But love is too strong to be quenched by this little glich. He finds her only to lose her again when the underworld cops finally catches her and drags her down.

Straight away, he dives into the swimming pool to drown himself to try and get her back from the underworld (little reminder here about The Eye 10's ending here). After a breathtaking race against the underworld cops (who rides on horses, the romance element being played to the max here), the cops finally traps them (not before some really nice scenic 'underworld' shots and a breathtaking leap over a cliff to another on a horse) and the beautiful dream romance looks set to end as the cop takes aim to send an arrow of death into both Jane and Ah.

He fires, BUT somehow the arrow stops right in front of Ah, spinning wildly before suddenly disappearing. Turns out their love moved even the stone heart of the cop. They made a deal. Jane gets to spend some time on Earth in exchange for the life of Ah. One goes one stay. Ah readily agrees and Jane returns to compete together with her best friend int he dance final as well as say some last words to her family.

Before she returned to the underworld, she left a scrapbook of all her memories from her life to him. On the very last page, was the only photo they ever took. *Cue to cry* Time is not what is important in love. What important is that every minute you spend together with each other, you treat it like its your last.

Why Tiramisu as the title then? Tiramisu means "missing you" in old italy. Jane and Ah made this dessert together one night in the kitchen and i think the dessert aptly sums up their relationship. Sweet with a touch of bitter. Rich and gives the eater a feeling of 'high' thats imcomparable. Yet, its a dessert that is best eaten when just made. It doesnt last long. But anyone with a little time can make it and how good it tastes depends on the maker and what he/she decides to put in it.

This movie, keeps alive my dreams that love at first sight exists. That love is not about how much time u spend with someone or how well you now someone. Its about a feeling, the emotion you feel when your with him. Everything else shouldn't matter, yet without him/her, nothing else will seem to matter.

I am suddenly feeling melancholic again. Am going for a walk. Tomorrow begins a full two weeks of a roadshow with cisco i'm handling. Will be pretty busy i guess. Lap top is down. Cant get into windows at all. Have to find a time to try and get it repaired.

Good night.

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[ ]


[richel] [4/24/2005 06:50:00 AM]