got quite a few calls from friends asking what i have done.

did i get a new girlfriend? -- nope.
did i have a one night stand then? -- nope, not very interested in sex currently.
did i kill someone? -- i wish i did. but no.

so what was it then?

i went out with someone. for a movie.

why feel guilty about that?

i promised myself to be self sufficient thats why.

why all the mumbo jumbo about rebounding and spur of the moment thingy?

i hope i didnt ask someone out because i wanted to date again or get into another relationship. i really hope i asked someone out because i was lonely and needed company. i dun want to fall in love. relationships are cruel games. rebounding is a reflex action i have no control over and so i did not want to risk it by going out with anyone. thankfully everything turned out well.

we went to watch kung fu. i really wanted to watch that show. actualy i wanted to watch oceans twelve more but ... was suppose to watch that with someone but i didnt expect things to turn sour ... anyway i really wanted to watch kung fu and i didnt want to laugh alone. so i called a colleague out.

nope. no scandal. no nothing.

i just felt guilty because i couldnt stand being alone that day for that movie. my discipline failed me.

anyway, on a lighter note, my foot is 75% healed now and i can wear shoes. prolly gonna go back to swimming very soon. bills are shooting themselves into my arse and my laptop still isnt back yet. have to think of something soon

what am i going to do tmr? i dunno. dun wan to squeeze with everyone. dun wan to c all the happy faces. got a invite from a friend to attend a private party at amara. will think about that. i just want something like last year where i spent my new years at fisherman contemplating the future, enjoying the sea breeze.

new year is tomorrow guys. what are your resolutions? to be a better person? to be happy? Singapore would not have existed had the underwater earthquake been an inch nearer to us. my new year resolution is to stay alive.

and enjoy myself while doing that.

---

[ ]


[richel] [12/30/2004 07:59:00 AM]

foot is healing well. did something i shouldnt have done today and is quite guilty about it. maybe im rebounding, maybe its justa spur of the moment thing, i dont know. i just hope someone up there doesnt play any more tricks on me.

am proud of myself. on the road to total abstainment of cigarettes. budget is till free wheeling though. have to control that and hope that finance solutions come in soon.

---

[ ]


[richel] [12/28/2004 09:46:00 AM]