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Thursday, July 24, 2003 well...things are back to normal again..haha..hilarious..went to job training for the new motorola sux phone today and she was there too. at first it was like haha, she blacked face again and all sulky and unwelcoming so i was like fine yo, i mean i give ya u time and space. so i didnt talk to her at all. till the end of it all she asked me where i was going and i said home. then silently we made our way to the bus stop. my plan was to wait 4 her to board the bus b4 leaving for home myself. cuz i didnt tell her dat. suddenly a sms came in for me. i looked at it and smiled. haha..she asked me if she could hang wif me. haha...always so full of pride..finally made the first move huh!!
haha..so everything is fine and cheery now again..went for dance practise today..sucked..mus get my steps rite and the machi part down pat..the performance is coming..gotta put in a lotta hard work now. going malaysia tmr back on sun. will keep ya guys updated on wat happened there. shout out to kar..haha..little pert pig full of narcisstic pride..kaoz!! shout out to...erm..all the dancers!! lose weight!! or all u big tummys are gonna show in them midrift costumes we're gonna wear!! haha Wednesday, July 23, 2003 i realli realli am very very fed up. another senseless quarrel with her!! my god..this is so shitty!! like wat the hell am i suppose to do! i aint no telepathic worm in the stomach human being yo? i mean if there is like a prob how am i suppose to know exactly wat it is unless u tell me about it..its like 5 freaking am in the morning..i have been bothered by this since yesterday rite after the movie when we had the quarrel..it was like after she came out of the toilet and saw my jc friend who happens to be a butch sitting beside me in the cinema a switch jus went off inside her. i tried asking her wat the hell was wrong but she jus wont say!! in the end i got fed up and i was set off. i ignored her her too if that was what she bloody wanted. i returned home and smsed her.no reply. i messaged her the next day. she didnt reply too. wanted to meet her to go work..no. wanted to talk? no wont pick up my phone. then she messaged me and told me to, quote, "fuck off". she wanted some time off. got a lotta heat from her boss at work and she quit,couldnt believe that her loyalty to the company for 4 years jus got burnt like dat. feeling very low and also insecure cause its like everywhere i go there seems to be gals i know. like hell wat can i do about that! stop socialising completely? damM!
the job thing i totally empathise. i mean i realli wanna be there for her and stuff! but she shut me off!! i thought we shared so many things together there shouldnt be like secrets or problems that we dun discuss. i share everything with her! and she does too to me! why not this then? why do i have to be shut off from her depression now? i believe if she talk more about it or if she rant and complain and if she wan vent her anger on me she will feel better. but no..all she gives me is the silent treatment. and then tell me to leave her alone. and then tell me i dunno what she needs now. and then say well maybe both of us are not meant 2be. damM! why mus this happen like everytime! everysinglemofobloodyhelltime!!! things are rosy and happy then BANG! a huge raging fireball comes and blow everything away. hell..women..think u understand them think u got of them kind on ur side and then u wake up and find out u know shit about them. ah..fuck it. all i can do now is give watever space she wans time out ? fine. time out. i jus hope she calls me. i jus hope we talk. i jus hope that it aint over i jus hope its not. i jus hope shes happy i jus hope she care. cause life aint all that merry without her there. dun c no be no kinda fool cause love it aint no shit it aint no cool lovefool? haha no damm no Cardigans smiling then? ah ah it jus aint happenin one plus one should equal two but no that aint the gospel truth cause if one plus one makes two then all couples would be living under the same roof aint it true? nah i dun think so sugar or honey lady my baby wat u call ur bitch? sexy? haha u gotta be crazy. crazy sexy? hmm..maybe..howbout horny bitchy? getting sleazy am i? im jus a floozy 4give me yo cause im such a cutie? aint joking about the cutie part or why else would she think im wif other bitches even when we are apart? ah the things she say will have u in stitches. i aint blowing no, i aint tripping too well, maybe a little but hell aint i entitled to? would ya if ya knocked up beaten over and shut out by someone someone ya care for feel for and very possibly die for? its like she had a gun a long one maybe a souped up one and pointed it to my head and screamed 'get down on the floor!' 'put ya motherfucking hands up over ur eyes and bite ur tongue out cause u aint talking or looking at me no more. im gonna xist only in ur mind in ur heart! she shout out loud not gonna c me no more. not gonna talk to me no more. bah im sick of this bullshit. im outtie. the above is jus a bunch of crappie. dun take it too seriously. Sunday, July 20, 2003 damm damm tired now. time is 2am in the morning..havent slept well in 2 days..very very busy weekend. first the potluck then two chalets back to back then dance practice..god..im bushed!! i think no point talking about the potluck and the chalets...oh yeah maybe jus that i caught up with my secondary schoolmates at the second chalet i went to..haha..did a lot of catching up and exposed a couple of secrets of the past like who liked who and who went steady with who and that kinda stuff ya know..pretty crappy but yet heartwarming at the same time...reminded me of how so many things have changed during these 6 years while some things still remain the same..and may 4ever do so.
anyway.am glad the music for the dance is finally sorted out..went to talk with ruby of act 3 this afternoon..short talk but a productive one nonetheless...told her that i wanted to get back with production first before exploring other choices..she totally agreed and said she would keep me in the loop. told me to go search out other artistic opportunities too..will try to do that.. realli shagged out..busy week next week too..tuesday catching the premiere of tomb raider with kar..monday wking and wed too..thur dance practise where i gotta teach the rest of them people new dance steps..fri flying to malaysia for holiday and back on sunday..phew!! while happenind sia..cannot ..mus go sleep now.. zzZZ..zZzzz..... |
Richel A.K.A Bkoolz tag me 
my previous life
03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003 designed by lonelyger |
