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Saturday, November 15, 2003 im torn. torn between my work and my life. jus had an argument with my mum. she wanted e to go to tomorrow's cremation early but i cannot as i have committments for a show with act 3. i told her i will rush down after the show but she insist that i go down earlier. she doesnt understand why i cannot ask for compassionate leave like other normal jobs. this is not a normal job. its show buisness. in this buisness even if your own parents die u still have to go on performing. thats wat the entertainment industry is all about. the show must still go on. much as i want to be there early i cant. it would not be professional or ethical. the show cannot go on without me. but she jus cannot understand this. inrecent memories this period of time has been one of the most i've cried. i really so tired. of work of money of death of family life. but i go on. i love her. love her for what she has done for me and wat she is stands for in my life. but it hurts me so bad when she cant fathom this route i have taken and what it means. in show biz there are no such things as compassion. u have a death in ur family. ok. but the show still has to go on. its not like in a normal job u can tell ya boss that u need to take compassionate leave. i cant. why cant she understand that? sigh..im crying again. really hope she understands and forgive me for not being there early. i know she must be stressed out i dont blame her for venting it out on me. nvm..life has to go on. im just so tired..so very very tired.... Tuesday, November 11, 2003 and i cry up to heaven. may u rest in peace, free of pain and sorrow. of sickness and calamities. may u have eternal life to watch over us, ur future. ur loved ones.
in memory of my grandfather. 1924-11 november 2003 11pm. always remembered and treasured by his loved ones Monday, November 10, 2003 am taking a big chance now. trying to start afresh. another chapter in my life storey. will this work out or will this not? how will things turn out? sigh i really dun know. again. a day at a time. but at least i dun have to hide anymore. this silly game of hide and seek with the world. no longer have to play it. but this is a big leap. a big leap for me. im still tender and scared from wat happened before. but..but... |
Richel A.K.A Bkoolz tag me 
my previous life
03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003 designed by lonelyger |
