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Tuesday, April 05, 2005 Family has always been one of the most important aspect of my life. But my bro...he is the most selfish person ever... he earns more than me now per month yet he still refuse to contribute at all to the family expenses. Keep arguing with my mum saying she has no right to ask him to contribute. Says its her duty. Fuck, i have never taken money from her since i was 16 and though im not earning much i still do my best to contribute what i can. He is 20 already and he has not contributed one cent to the family. My mum is so tired, she has done so much for us yet in his eyes, she does not deserve the respect. I look at mum this morning and i really wanted to cry so very much... she does not deserve this. I really dunno wat to do. I cant talk to him. She cant talk to him. He continues to live as though he deserves to stay in the home like a freeloader. I realli dunno what to do to help...i want to take on as many jobs as i can so that mum can rest...but i can only do so much..cant he wake up and look at the situation now and c how hard mum is trying to maintain the family! She has suffered all her life for us. She deserves to take things easy now. Bro you are 20 years old already. You earn almost 800 a month and has free food and lodging from the army. Contributing a little will kill u? I dont fucking think so... shit...wat can i do now? I dont wan to c my mum cry...my heart bleeds so much..i feel so useless like i cannot contribute more... fuck fuck fuck!!! Sunday, April 03, 2005 Ten rules for staying with her. 1. Don't ask her to be feminine. 2. Don't ask her to drink over three glasses of alcohol. 3. At a cafe, drink coffee instead of coke. 4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it hurts act like it doesn't 5. On 100th day together, give her a rose in class. 6. Learn fencing and squash. 7. Be prepared to go to prison sometimes. 8. If she says she'll kill you dont take her lightly. 9. If her feet hurts, exchange shoes with her. 10. If she likes to write, encourage her. For those of you who havent watched My Sassy Girl you will not understand the above rules. I watched it just now for thr fourth time and i decided to copy the rules down. In light of my romantic life now, i find similar parallels between the movie and my life. NO not talking about the rules. NO, she doesnt drink. And NO, she's not as pretty as the lead actress. She's prettier. Anyway, the story is about this girl who treats her boyfriend horribly, like asking him to jump into the water to test how deep it is when the bf doesn't swim, like asking him to wear heels, like asking him to go to her all girls school to present her with a rose in front of everyone, like hitting him for no reason. Why? She tries to mould him into what her ex was. Her ex died a year ago just when everything couldnt be happier. So in rebound, she took this guy and tried to make him into what her ex was. Over time she realised what she was doing was wrong. With guilt overwhelming her, she suggested that they write letters in which they expressed all their feelings for each other, and put it in a time capsule buried under a tree. They will meet after two years at the exact same spot to read each other's letters. After two years, the guy comes back alone and reads her letter. In it she confesses to the guy that all the while when they were dating she couldn't forget her ex and that she needed this break to deal with it alone. If after two years she came back it would mean she has succeeded. If not, she hasn't. In disappointment, the guy goes away. The girl only comes back a year later and discovers that the guy can no longer be found. I won't give away the ending , though i must admit its very unexpected, but the crux of where i felt especially moved was during the cooling off part. Somehow it just striked me how similar it was to our situation now. Though the girl being a fierce, dominant un-feminine character certainly reminds me of her, the point is that you can't force your emotions. When your heart and mind is pre-occupied with someone else, not only is it unfair to the person you are with, it also wrecks havoc on your own mental health. And that damage is reflected in how you treat those around you. The only way to solve the problem would be to go away on your own and try to solve the chaos within yourself. BUt of course, in doing that, you risk losing the one in front of you who might be the one who will provide you with your happiness for the rest of your life. It is a difficult choice, but its something that must be done. Do not try to handle relationships or problems when your mental state isn't ready for such stresses. YOu start having bad tempers, irrational decisions, impetious behavious. How the guy in the movie bore with it all is a mystery to me. He may be one of the few human beings in the world, save for mother theresa bless her soul, who could stand up to such horridness and still end up loving the girl. Maybe for most of you out there this is true romance, about how the two of them came through such odds to end up together again. But couldn't you guys think of how much torture the guy has to go through. The movie depicted this torture in a humourous way to lessen the lesson. What it does not show is the agony both parties go through. I drunk a lot in the past week. I smoked also. NO im not back in addiction, but i smoked. I feel very heavy. Burdened. Exams are over, absolutely nothing to do but think about this problem. Sometimes too much free time is bad for you too. I don't know what to do now. I don't know what is the right course of action to take. All i know is that i need time to free my thoughts a little. Its been getting a bit harder to breath these few days and i really need a mental break. What would be the outcome? I'm sure you guys wait with bated breaths... Fate -- Its building bridges of chance for your loved ones... |
Richel A.K.A Bkoolz tag me 
my previous life
03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003 designed by lonelyger |
