world is so dark.
time now is 625 pm.
evening.
the sun is just setting over the world.

in legend, this is the time in the world when everyone's defenses are at their most weakest. armies do not fight at sunset. ancient witches believe sunset to be when evil magic is at their most potent. it is a time when wills are weak, strength is low after a hard day of work -- it is a time where the shadow of death casts its shroud over the world.

strange then that lovers find this time of the day to be the most romantic one. go to beaches and you will find couples strolling along the waves, laughing in thir bliss, chasing each other in the frolic of their game of love. i myself have sat down on the sand and watched the sunset with a loved one resting herself on my lap. i have often thought that should i die here, i would have no regrets. for isnt this why we have the gift of life? for us to appreciate what it is that makes us human, for us to appreciate what is around us. time stands still when you immerse yourself in the beauty of the moment. and even if the world were to end, who would complain having already been to paradise?

i very disappointed. i really thought she have changed. she behaved so differently from before. she became attached to me, meeting to me everyday. calling me everytime she came home. accepting, with a few complains and small quarrels of course, that i would be much stricter with her because of what happened. i even contemplated bringing her home next year. next year...why did i even think so far? i put in a lot of effort into her. i really did. i stood by her through the ordeal. i tried to give her the support and time she wanted. but in the end, the truth is still this -- she will never have enough.

again. another intimate message from another guy. i even gave her permission to go out with this guy. i didnt ask much. i just wanted to know where they are going thats all. i trusted her again. i so badly wanted to trust her again. this morning i saw how my trust was betrayed again. hey dear..you sound so sweet.. :) call me later okay babe? look forward to talking to you. :)

i confronted her and i wasnt surprised she reacted defensively. but i was shocked when she reacted with anger after that. i asked her what is her ex boyfriend's photo in her wallet. i asked her why the photo of her and the guy whom i last caught her with is in her wallet. i asked her why they are kissing in the photo. i asked why after so much she is still doing all this? she told me to go think what i want to think. she gave me back my phone and left.

the waves are lapping thier feet. i see a love symbol drawn in the sand with a couple's name inside. the tide is coming in.slowly but surely the waves wash over the heart, by and by eroding it. finally the heart is gone.

so is mine.

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[richel] [10/23/2004 03:18:00 AM]