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Monday, June 02, 2003 btw FUCK!! paid the locksmith 50 bucks to open my door! FUCK! imagine having to pay someone 50 bucks to open ur fucking room door!! feets hurt like hell..swollen ...walking like a crippled..fook...
kar's feelings still very messy..troubled and unhappy. jus read her blog..sigh..these are the trials and tribulations of a relationship..but these are the things which makes us stronger..or breaks us. i hope she moves on..get over wat happened and look forward instead of replying whatever that has happened over again in her mind. our relationship can onli get stronger after this. i believe in us. we will make it one ok? now already beginning of june..soon...ORD LOR!!!! Sunday, June 01, 2003 of all the stupid things that man can do...one of the stupidest things has to be locking urself out of ur room in ur own house!! stupid stupid STUPID!! duh arg! the lock on the door to my room somehow got stuck early in the morning. i went to the toilet and SHAZAAM! the door was closed seemingly never to open again.
key leh? dun have. y? the bastard took it away with him when he left. so how? die lah. dun wan get lock smith to open the door...cnfirm very ex one. very jialat leh...aiyah wait for mum come back c how lor...ll lets talk about yesterday.. went to paradigm with a couple of chillicrap people plus kar as a sorta chillicrap outing...had a sort of agreement with kar that we were to act as though we were not with each other...jus wanted to c how things would turn out.. well the outing went well...like normal chionging lor...but at the end of it kar didnt wanna hold my hand saying " u say one day dun be ur gal friend one mah. so one day lor!! humph! " oops. of course in the end i manage to win her over..it was jus a play play thing mahz...no need to get so serious wan mah rite?? haha..aiyah i actually didnt wanna take it seriously this whole not gf/bf for a day thing..jus wanted to have fun u know..nothing happened though..i mean like as in with the other crappers...i jus thought they would like leave us two in the cold if they knew we were togather lah..anyway that was settled. we went to get drinks then went to sit down at orchard point that starbucks...then we started to talk. thats when things started to go all so very wrong. we told each other our deepest darkest secrets and both of us couldnt handle it very well...much worse for me..i was literally in a daze when she confessed. i was in a mad mix of anger shock rage despair regret...i stumbled around orchard for awhile to clear my head...i was literally drained of emotion or energy...it was like i was a walking corpse...again... somehow i found her..seated on one of the benches along the road crying...i went over to her...pulled her up and hugged her..my mind was still in a blank..my throat dry..my lips seemingly sewn shut. we were silent through out our wait for the morning bus..sitting side by side each other at the bus stop..both on the threshold of falling asleep...suddenly i reached for her hand...then slowly hugged her and released. after awhile she grabbed my arm and put it around her body once more...once again, even in this silent communion we felt warmth and contentment. the storm seemed to have been weathered. as if to signify the end of out crisis, as we board our bus, the sun began to peak out from the clouds signalling the start of a new day. for us... to kar...wat has taken place cnt be undone. let bygones be bygones...my prob i will do my best to curb it. it is not fair to you i know. but it is not like smoking or gambling. its not something i can jus do away with...i realli hope u can understand and give me ur support. on the other hand i sincerely do hope that nothing like wat happened for u will ever happen again...it realli tears at my very soul... (UPDATED: random inspirations with something inspired by yesterday) |
Richel A.K.A Bkoolz tag me 
my previous life
03/30/2003 - 04/06/2003 designed by lonelyger |
