seems like she has found someone new already.
wow.
fast.
really surprised.
really really...surprised..

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[richel] [8/05/2004 05:21:00 AM]

well if u want it that way i so be it. ego again. if your pride means more to you than me then you can have your pride. i gave up my pride and tried callin you two nights in a row. first night your phone line was faulty. second night no one picked up. fine. if you want your ego instead of our love, take it with you. i did not give up on us. you did.

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[richel] [8/03/2004 09:38:00 PM]

im so so frustrated. why do i get that feeling again? i really dont want to feel this way about her! in so many ways they are so different but why issit they now seem so alike in lifestyle? Are all 16 coming on 17 girls like this?

clubbing, wasting money, going home late, skipping school, not interested in class, why why why!! i spent so much time with elaine trying to correct her bad habits and i failed terribly. now i have to do it all over again?

we argued yesterday over money again. i agreed to share a packet of cigarette with her. i wanted to smoke a stick but was going to give her the rest. we agreed to split the cost in half. then she told me she didnt have enough money and wanted me to pay for the whole pack. i stared and her incredulously and said i really didnt have money for the whole pack. she then exhibited her infamous black face to me and said, "why do you have to be so stingy? i rarely ask you to buy stuff for me why do you have to haggle with me over a pack of ciggies?"

well that really set me off.

i dont really buy stuff for her? top ups for her hi card and ez-link cards? movies, food, that little pair of shorts from topshop? maybe small insignificant stuff when compared to what your ex--boyfriend-with-bloody-tuscany could provide but THEY MEAN A HELL LOT TO ME CAN? you were one of the few girlfriends for whom i was willing to spend so much on. ask my ex girlfriends how many times we have gone dutch and you would be amazed.

im a poor man. i work for my own living as well as my school fees. i pay my own handphone bills, my own insurance, my gym membership, the bloody dvd rentals, transport and even the house cleaning lady! do you have any idea how much all this and MORE adds up to? no. u will have no idea because y? every little dainty thing is paid for by ur magnamonious aunty and sister! your cute little laptop and ipod, your school fees, you upcoming digital camera, your monthly transport concession, and even a little allowance every day to boot! yet u waste all the money you have on entertainment, cigs and other useless stuff. u got so many things and yet complain incessantly about wanting more. you say you are just using up "extra" money. THERE IS NO FUCKING EXTRA MONEY IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD! you say you are working now and will have about 400 plua more "extra" money in the future? then you're gonna eat bread for the rest of the month? or simply borrow from friends? the money you earn will prolly go into paying off debts and spending on more ciggies!

why the hell am i even ranting on and on like this? you are beginning to behave more and more like a younger sister to me. im beginning to have to nag at you for things and stuff. i really dont want to. please i really dont want you to turn out like her or just any other teenage girl gone bad. you know where you're wrong but why do yu have to stick it up with so much ego about it? admit your mistakes and move on! learn and improve. you are not the best in everything now and so am i. which is why up till now im still reaching out at every opportunity that comes my way. it may be foolish to do stuff for free but i do it because the experience is invaluable! you are in school to learn dar, not to have fun, be merry, and find opportunities to slack. set your priorities and begin thinking about where the money is going to come once the well runs dry.

for it sure aint gonna come from me.

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[richel] [8/02/2004 06:48:00 PM]