im glad you feel this way audrey. makes things easier. i dont hate you. And i mean what i say. you may not believe it but its true.
you will find someone better than me.
as you said yourself, you will experience a short lived but very memorable relationship. i just hope that ours was it.
thank you for everything.

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[richel] [9/21/2004 10:45:00 AM]

more than a week since i last updated my blog. difference between this update and the last is that im single again.
what happened?
same day a week ago we had an argument about an email. She broke up with me, and i thought that was the end of it all. when i came to return her her stuff it was with a very heavy heart. but somehow or rather we got back together again. things went well till saturday.
we went to one of the contestant's birthday party. happily we went about eating drinking smoking. then a joke went wrong. i teased her about having guys always call her dear and stuff and she challenged me to check her handphone. And so i did.
and what i saw shocked me.
seems that not only have guys been calling her intimate names, but it seems flirting for her has gone a step further with one guy. cant get that message she sent out of my head. "Im afraid of fallin in love again. I dont know whether i can trust you. Can i?"
same question she asked me 4 months plus ago. SAME FUKING QUESTION. i got very angry but i kept my head and remained calm. no right for me to get angry. afterall i have wronged before too. BUT I HAVE NEVER USED THE WORK LOVE! love to me means a lot. a whole lot. and she bloody used that same word she said to me to another guy?
she pleaded with me. told me that she loved only me. right. i believe that. i do. but that doesnt change much doesnt it? this guy was the very same guy we argued about two months back and whom whom u promised to stop contacting. things have been getting hot and heavy behind my back hasnt it?
she messaged the guy afterwards to ask him to stop seeing her. her exact words were 'sorry we cannot be together'. my analysis of that statement. they have discussed being together. she has told him that she is having problems with her boyfriend and that in the future -- or maybe even now on the side -- they will have a relationship. the guy messaged her later telling her that he is sick of her mind games and promises. he told her not to look for him again. audrey. you knew this guy from friendster. he was attracted to you because of your half naked pic there. so were half a million guys out there. i told you to take it out. you did and then reinstated the pic a few weeks later. wats your point? your single again. happily it looks.
then i found latinfrog's website. wow. of all people. him. i warned you about him before and told you he was up to no good. you told me you met him only once. guess you are either bad at maths or you thought i was a complete buffoon. dinner at billy bombers, sentosa, nice intimate cosy pictures, lunch at katong. met him after u quarreled with me. you called him after you quarreled with me. you SHARED THE BLOODY CAB DOWN WITH HIM TO MEET ME TO GO THE FUKING PARTY.
he likes you. who doesnt? you know thats the problem. everyone likes you audrey. everyone goes after you. and you hate to reject. in fact you like the attention and very often you flirt back. i worry for you. be careful when you play with fire or you might get burned. i hope that the time with me has taught you a bit, one of which is to treasure yourself and the time you have here in life. dont waste it. i still mean what i say. i love you. we are just meant to be together. you will have a place in my heart for the rest of my life. but we can be no more than friends for you will be far happier without me. and i you.

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[richel] [9/20/2004 05:35:00 PM]